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Thursday, September 15, 2005

A Matter of Trust

I've been online since November 1996. I'd like to think that I know much better now compared to the early days when I got duped by that e-mail purportedly sent from TMnet asking me for my login details.

I've made many a friend (and foe) online, via Skype, IMs and chatrooms/forums/online games. A few months ago, I even met a Vietnamese online who tried impressing me with a shot of him in a silver Ferrari and another with him standing next to Dustin Nguyen (known most of all for his role in 21 Jump Street, beside Johnny Depp and Peter DeLuise). His story was that he owned a company selling souped-up fast cars, and that Dustin was working for HIM. After a little chat session on MSN, I decided to check out Dustin's bio on IMDB.

Read about tragic car crash that involved his wife, which resulted in her being a quadriplegic the same year they were wed. The bio never mentioned him working for any company that involved cars.

So the next time I met that fellow again, I asked him what his company name was. He ignored that question and so I said that it was a pity about Dustin's wife, being involved in an accident and all. I added that there was no information about him being employed in a car company. Suddenly, he seemed very interested about how I knew this. I told him about the bio on IMDB. He wanted the link, which I gave with this query, "You want to read about your employee?"

Well, I think all blood vanished from his face when he read it, because as soon as he returned, he high-tailed it out of the chat window. Looks like he underestimated me and needed to change his M.O for meeting and impressing women. I hope Dustin practises his martial arts skills on that loser one day.

Cut to several days ago. I met this fellow while playing against him in the Yahoo Games Pool room. Since I enjoyed the games, I added him to my 'Pool Partners' contact list. We chatted and he seemed nice enough. He sent me a photo of himself and well...he seemed like one of those catalogue models.

I'm thinking to myself, "Phoooarrr... this can't be true. Cute fellow like that chatting with me." So I asked for another pic. He said he didn't have one with him. Fine, he did say he was on leave from the navy (stationed in Japan) and was using his grandfather's PC. The handle he used on YM was not his, he explained. It was his grandfather's. But he also said that his grandfather never chatted online, just knowing how to e-mail family members.

Little sirens were starting to blare. Why use his grandfather's name for a handle? Why couldn't he use his own name or handle?

I kept asking him a photo and said that I was just being cautious. But he apparently felt 'offended' that I would mistrust him. So he said he didn't want to chat with me. This was two nights ago. Last night, I got a 'Have a nice night' from him. I replied with a 'Thank you'. Tonight, I got another 'Have a nice night', which I then responded with a 'Thanks, you have a nice day then'. Figured that would be the end of it, but he replied again with a 'Will try'.

No, I didn't reply back. He said he didn't want to chat with me because of my trust issues. Why should I be the one to crumble and start chatting like nothing changed?

Sure, I enjoyed chatting with him. But surely somebody who easily feels offended (and doesn't buy the fact that we girls have to stay on our toes to avoid being played for a fool) has something to hide and is playing some mind game? I don't know about you, but when somebody's game is up...they tend to pretend that it's really us who's done a crime. A reverse psychology kind of thing. You know what I mean?

Anybody reading this have any comments? I'm tempted to give him a link to this just so he sees my side of the story.

But what's the use, right? As if he's really in the navy and flies fighter planes in Japan. Darn, too bad the site is chock full of stuff and I don't know where to start.

Hmmm... and on second thought, it wouldn't be a great idea to give him this link. What if I was wrong?


Patrick said...

It sounds like the guy is lying. He probably found the pic he sent you on some random site, then couldn't find another one of the same guy, so he came up with the Grandfather story.

Fuond your blog by chance and thought I would be the first to leave a comment for you.

Have a good day!

Bob said...

Yes, the guy is lieing. He may be some perv looking for young naive girls with his fake picture, grandfather story and his quickly "offended" response.

If he really is a US military man, he would have a US military email address - one that ends in "". Since he didnt offer you that email address, I'd say you are right to be suspicious.