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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Been awhile, eh?

Hi there, I don't even know if anyone actually checks in to this blog anymore. So many things have happened since I last checked in. (When did I last check in, anyway? *grin*)

I was in a non-relationship for awhile and going nowhere. I finally decided that enough was enough and proceeded to purge him out of my system. I removed him from my contact list on FB (we never communicated there anyway), as well as on YM. In the meantime, I started checking out OKCupid again. I really wasn't expecting any results. I usually say hi and the communication tends to peter out eventually. You can tell from the initial messages how it's going to go anyway. I recall checking out someone's profile, and not impressed by what I read. So I happened to catch a glimpse of similar users listed on the right hand side of the rejected profile. One guy caught my eye. I clicked over to read his profile. He had some nice smiling photos, a very detailed profile not unlike mine and I could tell he was smart. One could be almost intimidated by it. I didn't send him a message then. I decided to write a testimonial instead, applauding him for an interesting profile. He approved it and that was when we started sending messages to each other. I must admit that had he not mentioned an obscure writer, I might not have initiated any contact. Yes, I realize how close I was to not knowing him.

Skip to two months later (all the while we had been communicating on FB and playing daily Scrabble games) and he decided to visit me. Had I not spent all that time chatting and writing to him plus getting a phone call, that decision of his would have scared me. Normally, I would try convincing anyone to rethink their decision. But he seemed sincere. He even wrote a fairly long message to my parents, asking for permission to visit me (as I live with them and he would naturally be staying under their roof). Just reading his letter to them, in all his honesty, made my walls crumble a little.

When he went back home to Italy and couldn't spend time getting online, he would make short recordings for me to listen. He'd describe how he had escaped a storm as he cycled the mountains with that cute accent of his. I mean, he rode a bicycle, not his cute accent. Oh, you know what I mean! =P Nobody has ever made the effort as he has in communicating and sharing part of his life with me. No one has ever called me long distance multiple times just to hear my voice! And that quiver in his voice when I attempted to speak in Italian. I doubt that can be faked. He's as genuine as Lingam's Chilli Sauce.

Just when I think that my feelings for him can't get any more intense, he says something more endearing. Since the very beginning, I have been forthcoming with him. He knows my feelings, my hopes, my dreams. He knows 90% of everything there is to know about me. And he's still here after almost 6 months! He's more than I could ever wish for in a man. He goes swimming every day, cycles, walks, does yoga. He goes for regular health checkups. He's not afraid of going to the doctor at the first sign of trouble. Yes, he seems too good to be true. Yet, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Being cynical all the time is just too tiring and it does prevent one from enjoying what's left in life to enjoy. I'm giving in to my feelings for now. I'm ready to accept the consequences. The ride has been smooth so far and however it ends, I am so glad he is in my life!

105 days until we finally meet! And I will get to spend a whole month with him. =)

Ti voglio bene, S!